Web Lecture 5

In web lecture 5 it was interesting to read the section on emotion and persuasion. It was interesting to read about the car example. When I purchased my first car I knew what I wanted so it didn’t take much persuasion of the car salesperson. I was also emotional after I about the car, but that was because I had put my self in some debt and at the time was 17 years old and didn’t really know what I had gotten myself in to. It was also interesting to read if you were a happy person then you were more optimistic about persuasive messages. If you are a sad or angry person you tended to be more closely to weak persuasive messages which the happy individuals tended to ignore.

Chapter 13

Conflict patterns was a very interesting section in chapter 13. There are 3 different types of conflict strategies, variety, continuity, and symmetry. Variety is how flexible people are during conflict. If there is a lack of flexibility is usually means that the individuals are dissatisfied. Continuity is the range of topics covered during conflict. Symmetry id the type of reciprocity of behavior, basically individuals treat others the way they are treated. In all these conflict patterns I tend to lean towards the variety one. I really don’t like any sort of conflict and I tend to be flexible in any sort of conflict that I may be in.

Chapter 12

In chapter 12 Marwell and Schmitt’s compliance messages was interesting to read about their five different types of power. They are reward, coercive, referent, expert, and legitimate. I found the reward power most interesting. The reward power is when one person is trying to influence another person by giving rewards or benefits. This is something I see happen a lot. I know this is something that my parents used with me when I was a little girl and at times they still do it to this day. Also I have noticed in my workplace that patents will say to their children, if you eat all your lunch then you can eat the doughnut when you have finished. So they are giving their child a reward for finishing all their breakfast or lunch.

Web Lecture 4 Jealousy

In web lecture 4 I really enjoyed reading about chapter 10. A section that I found really interesting was the part on jealousy. The study on jealousy that increases relationship rewards was especially interesting to me. I have discovered in the past year that when it comes to relationships I do tend to be a bit jealous. My last relationship I had we were never had the title of boyfriend and girlfriend. I was definitely insecure in my last relationship. Whenever I saw my guy talking to another girl I got extremely jealous. I obviously thought that this girl could be a potential threat since I never had the security of boyfriend/girlfriend. When the relationship was over and I looked back on it I realized that I really had nothing to be jealous about and others girls weren’t really a threat, it was just something that was all in my head.

Chapter 11 Stages of Coming Apart

In chapter 11 I enjoyed reading about Knapp and Vangelisti’s stages of coming apart. The five stages are differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding and terminating. The first stage is differentiating which is the first stage of a couple coming apart. The second stage is circumscribing which is the main stage is a change in communication between those in the relationship. The third stage is the stagnating stage where the couple put emotional and physical distance between each other. The fourth stage is the avoiding stage where the couple avoids contact with each other. The fifth and last stage is terminating which is when the relationship is completely done and over. Reading about these five stages makes me look back on past relationships and realize that I did go through all these stages. Some stages seem to happen more than others or at least are more apparent for me. I always seem to have the avoidance stage where me and the other person just don’t talk.

Chapter 10 Platonic Relationships

In chapter 10 reading about maintaining platonic relationships I found to be very interesting. The book defines platonic relationships as friendships that lack sexual involvement, despite possibilities for such involvement.(p 303) I find this concept meaningful because many people in society have cross sex friendships but it is hard for others to accept the fact that they are “just friends”. This relates to my own interpersonal experience because I have many platonic friendships and plan on keeping them that way. Also many of my friends have platonic relationships, nowadays platonic friendships are very common.

Chapter 9 Interpersonal Attraction

In chapter 9 I found the concept of interpersonal attraction very interesting. Interpersonal attraction refers to the various forces that draw people together, friends, as well as lovers. (p.249) Attraction involves emotional responses toward someone else, and beliefs, evaluations, and behaviors of that person. There are three dimensions of interpersonal attraction, they are social, task, and physical. Its important to remember that attraction isn’t just the persons physical and facial looks. There are much more things that go into being attracted to a person. This concept is relevant to me because I have been attracted to different guys throughout my life. There have been times when I wasn’t physically attracted to a guy but I liked his personality and his morals so the relationship still worked.

Web Lecture 3

In web lecture 3 it did a good job in summarizing the three chapters. I really enjoyed reading the section about identity because last semester I had intercultural communication and learned that identity has so many different meanings. So it was interesting to have that background of identity and then read about it in the lecture. In the section about social penetration theory it really explained the concept very well and really broke the concept down to easily understand the theory.

Chapter 8 Embarrassment

Embarrassment is a common emotional reaction to a social predicament. (p.230) It is very possible for people who are prone to embarrassment to avoid embarrassment. This is something that has happened to everyone at least once in their life. This relates to my interpersonal life because I would have to say that I am someone who gets embarrassed very easily. I probably get embarrassed by myself at least a few times a week. Its also common for me to get embarrassed when my parents say certain things or my sister acts in a certain way. It was interesting to find out that people who are prone to embarrassment can avoid embarrassment, that is something that I will think about the next time I feel embarrassed, to try and avoid the situation. Since I seem to get embarrassed really easily I have found that the less I think about the incident the better I am.

Chapter 7

In chapter 7 the topic of reasons for not disclosing is a topic that really struck me. People choose to not to disclose. This is something very common in college students when they meet new people. They don’t want to give the other person a bad image of themselves so they just don’t talk about it. This is something that has happened to me more than a few times. I also believe that some people tend to be more private than others or are really open and like to share their life so I believe that also has an effect on self disclosure.

Chapter 6

I found chapter 6 to be a very interesting chapter. An concept that I found most fascinating was right in the beginning. On page 155 the concept of impression management which is when a person projects a certain image. Strategic self presentation is when you are consciously making an attempt to control certain behaviors to make a certain impression on your audience. In my interpersonal life this is something that I do often. I have found that in certain situations I present myself differently. I would say that I use strategic self presentation more often because I am aware that I am making a change in my behavior. For example when I am around adults or teachers I will present myself a lot differently then when I am around my friends. When I am around adults and teachers I will present myself as more mature but when I am with my friends I will just be myself whether that in mature or not.

Chapter 16 Empathy

In chapter 16 empathy is said to be an important skill in interpersonal communication . Empathy is defined as the ability to show your conversational partner that you understand his or her situation (p. 507). Empathy is an important characteristic to have in a conversation because you need to make the other person in the conversation know what they are going through. Empathy and sympathy are two different concepts. Sympathy is feeling bad for someone. Being empathetic can help an individual in conversations because it lets them know that they are not the only person going through the issue. There have been many situations in my life where I have been empathetic to friends who have dealt with a breakup with a boyfriend as well as they have been empathetic to certain situations that I have been in.

Ch 14 Argumentativeness

What I found to be most interesting in chapter 14 is the concept of argumentativeness. People argue all the time and is it very common for an individual to defend their own views and attack the positions of others. (p.446) It was interesting to read that there are two types of argumentativeness one being, approaching agreements and avoiding arguments. I have found that I am one who likes to avoid arguments at times I will agree with someone just because I don’t want to fight about the topic. I know this is something that I should try and change because I can stand up for myself and by avoiding arguments I am in some ways letting the other person win and allowing him or her to walk all over me. I have found that there are some people who love conflict and will pick a fight. I don’t like these types of people because arguing over something doesn’t really get anything solved it usually gets people mad and then never really resolve an issue or it leads to arguing over basically nothing.

Chapter 5 Person Perception

A concept that I found to be very interesting in person perception which is in chapter 5. Person perception is defined as our attempt to determine what others are like and whether we like them. (p.35) This concept is interesting because it is something that everyone does pretty much on a daily basis. You may seen an individual walking down the street and you look at the person and try and determine what they are like. You may be able to tell that persons personality by the way they are dressed or b y the way they carry themselves. This is something that relates to my own interpersonal communication because this is something that I do often. I do not judge people for what they look like or what they wear but can get a sense of their background and their style of what they like.

Chapter 4

In chapter 4 about listening I really enjoyed the section on the behavioral component. It was interesting to read about back channels and to know that when people use “uh huh” and “ummms” that they are actually listening. I had always thought that this was a sign of not listening because I find myself doing that at times when I am hearing the person talk but my mind is off in another world. This usually happens when I am talking on the phone and I really have no idea what the other person is talking about so I usually use the “umms” and “uh huh”. Usually when I am talking to my sister she will use the “uh huh” and “ummms” but when I ask her opinion she will really elaborate so she is in fact listening to me. This is also something that happened to me in my workplace. I work at a coffee shop and a customer may ask for a double latte and I use”uh huh” so in the place I am listening to what the customer is asking of me.